i miss trimet. it was always on time.
Fun fact: This was taken while I was in high school. I am one of the 14 or so pushing that bus. They called us to school (brown building on the left), and then cancelled as soon as I got there. Having nothing better to do, and seeing a bunch of cars getting stuck going up Powell blvd, some other students and I spent a couple hours pushing cars up the street and out of the snow. I was wearing converse, and my feet were completely soaked through within five minutes. It was fun, and it was one of three times in high school where I wasn’t an ass.
Let this be your late night “where did all the memories go and were they ever there in the first place” mood music.
6 months of free High School SATANIC WORSHIP if you call within the next 15 minutes
There have been a recent slew of Onion-ish fake news sites, the exact web addressees of which I don’t feel deserve anyone’s attention. The sites are Onion-ish in that they have full page articles devoted to a story that isn’t true. That’s where the similarity begins and ends.
The onion is funny, VERY FUNNY at times. The fake news stories I’m addressing aren’t funny. Some aren’t funny from the sheer humor writing incapability that comes along when anyone can make an Onion knock-off website, and some from the fact that they’re not trying to be funny. I’m having my sights set for the latter in this diatribe.
When a fake news story gets put out on the internet, if it strikes a certain hot button issue or is properly sensationalist, it will get moved around the internet through people sharing it on social media sites. And people share it thinking it’s true. I spend enough time on social media to see these pop up, though I’m certain if you spend any time on social media one’s bound to cross your path. I’ll click on the link because I’m a sheep, I read the article, it may seem a little fishy but then again most sensationalist things are.
Later, I may see that the aforementioned news article was fake. What do I get from that revelation? A feeling of slight emptiness. Of being tricked. Congrats, you got me. You won…?
Mostly these fake news sites blatantly masquerade as onion knock-offs but without the part that tells you it’s obviously fake. These sites, it seems, exist mainly to get page views by taking the formula of the onion, getting rid of the humor, and injecting sensationalism. It’s cold, it serves no one but itself, doesn’t contribute anything to the world, and exists to subtly cram advertisements into your optic nerve.
From the fake news of the Onion, I get joy and fun commentary, from basic news I feel lied to. If the fake news IS TRYING TO BE FUNNY, then the joke they’re trying to make is “nothing is real on the internet!”. And that joke’s been done. It’s not really even a joke. It’s just a betrayal of expectations. It’s a prank. You know how well people take pranks from faceless web pages. The same way you’d take a prank of someone unplugging the water fountain so when you press the button nothing comes out. “Oh, I’ve been lied to. That’s mean. Cool.”
Not to say people don’t occasionally report the onion as news. It happens. But there’s SO MUCH ON THE ONION SCREAMING THAT IT ISN’T REAL that you’d have to be so biased towards the truth the article is purporting to ignore the signs, as is the case of 100% of the people who believe it’s true.
Also, “nothing is real on the internet!” is a novice game. How about do something with the false reality? The Onion uses it to make jarring political statements/commentary on the tepid depression of some existence/great jokes. Most art is a manipulation of false reality to reflect the reality we live in. These fake news sites, if they are trying to make any statement, are as garbage as putting up a blank canvas at an art showing. Or a stick figure drawing. It’s shallow, lazy, cynical, and a disappointing waste of everyone’s time. Why is it cynical? Because artistically it says “See, I know this isn’t real. Nothings real. The end.”
I feel depressed by the fake news sites, because it rewards an almost complete lack of conceptual creativity, it spreads disinformation for no end but itself, and it comes off as a cynical use of the false reality.
If, on the other hand, all the sites are trying to be dry and humorous, then I hope their writers get better. Everyone sucks at some point.